


Why?

by Dinosaur_872



Series: Angst [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Death, Funeral, Other, Panic Attacks, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:48:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinosaur_872/pseuds/Dinosaur_872
Summary: Tommy breaks down after the funeral.Warning: Suicide mention, panic attack, blood!
Series: Angst [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2094618
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

> I hated writing this. I can't imagine the pain of going through this. 
> 
> So, please, 
> 
> Stay.

{ My thoughts have destroyed me more than my blades } 

Tommy inhales slowly as he clicked into the Dream SMP, silently hoping no one notices his shaky hands or his red eyes. He was streaming after a funeral. 

  
His older sister's funeral. 

He knew it was a horrible idea to stream after something this big happened but he needed to get his mind off things. 

"Tommy?" A voice snapped the blonde back to reality. It was Tubbo, "Are you ok, Tommy?" They didn't know. No one knew besides George and Wilbur. They were at the funeral and they were now downstairs, talking to each other with blank expressions. They knew his sister better than anyone else. Better than Tommy. 

Wilbur was close friends to Clementine, being friends with her since they were kids. They were like brothers and sisters. 

George was in love with Clementine, they weren't partners. But they loved each other. Almost-Lovers. They promised many things in the future but Clementine broke the promise when she dragged the blade across her wrist. 

She's gone. 

She's _dead_.

Tommy whimpered, biting his bottom lip. His stream was still going on and Tubbo was asking him questions but he couldn't hear anything. Everything was too loud yet too fucking quiet. He felt his breathe pick up and he desperately tried to calm himself down. But he couldn't. He couldn't. Tears once again trickled down his face as he sobbed, his sobs echoing in his room. His mic picked it up and the chat moved fast as fans asked him questions, worried to why he was crying. 

  
He knew everyone could hear and see.

Everyone. 

His face-cam was on and he was crying in front of thousands of people and his friends. His friends was watching him cry like a little baby. Tommy clutched his front shirt as he weeped, his hands shook. He couldn't stop. As much as he tried, he just couldn't. 

"Tom, are you ok?" A donation popped up. 

Tommy broke. A broken sob tore from his throat and he wailed. He wrapped his arms around himself and he pulled his knees up, putting his head on his knees. He sobbed, his shoulders shaking with every attempt to breathe. 

Tom

That was what Clementine use to call him whenever she saw him. She always called him that. Then his parents started to pick up on the nickname. Everyone called him that outside of the Dream SMP. Everyone. But now, no body dared to call him that. Only using his real name. 

  
He hated her. 

But he missed her _so_ much. 

"Why?" his voice was hoarse and sounded tired, "Why? Why? Why?" he repeated the question over and over again, rocking back and forth. His tears ran down his chin, dripping on his pants. He didn't care. He was so tired...

Clementine was everything. He adored her. Loved her. She was beautiful and always happy, always smiling when he saw her. But he guessed it was just a lie. 

After all, a smile can hide many things. 

He remembered her wavy natural blonde hair and her fair skin, she always wore George's sweatshirt claiming she didn't have hers. Tommy always teased her about it and she would blush, rolling her eyes and ruffling his hair. He would always treasure the moments.   
  
  
But he didn't expect her to leave so soon. 

And so fast. 

He remembered her dull eyes, her body on the bath tub and the watery blood running down her wrist. It dripped to the tile floor.   
  
  


Drip 

Drip 

Drip

  
It was like it was taunting him. He didn't remember anything after that. Everything passed by so fast. So fast. Tommy had screamed, his scream alerting the two older men babysitting him. Wilbur had arrived there first, gasping in horror and quickly covering Tommy's eyes. Tommy was frozen, his eyes widen with horror and his mouth wide open. George had arrived a few seconds later, his expression falling as he looked at his crush's dead body. He had rushed to her and tried to stop the bleeding but it was too late. 

He still remembered walking into the bathroom to grab his towel when he saw his sister. Her limp body on the water. Fully dressed and fully covered in blood, the blood mixed with the water. 

Tommy screamed, covering his ears as he wailed. The SMP players desperately tried to help him but he didn't hear them. Tubbo was crying. Dream was calling Tommy over and over again, trying to catch his attention. He shouted reassuring words but they didn't help. The Floridian had sounded so close to tears. Niki had called Wilbur. The others could do nothing but watch as the annoying outshining blonde teenager screamed in pain in front of them. They watched more tears swell up in the brit's eyes. They watched as the blonde dug his nail into the side of his head, drawing blood. 

"Thomas!" Wilbur burst through the door, panick etched on his face. His breathe hitched when he saw the teen, "Thomas!" The musician knelt down and shakingly grabbed the teen's arms, stopping him from hurting himself. 

Tommy whimpered and looked up. Wilbur gritted his teeth and pulled the teen into a crushing hug, he whispered comforting words into Tommy's ear. Tommy clutched Wilbur's shirt, his knuckles white. He sobbed into the brit's shoulders. George ran into the room, holding a cloth and bandages. 

"It's ok, Thomas. We're here, We're here," George said, bending down and brushing Tommy's hair back. The older man cringed as he dubbed the cloth on the blonde's wounds. Blood stained the white cloth. 

Wilbur rubbed circles around the teen's back, quietly crying as he hugged Tommy tighter. 

"Why?" Tommy's words were muffled but everyone understood him. He sniffled and picked his head up, staring at George and Wilbur with a broken expression, "Why did she have to go?" 

"I don't know, bud. I don't know." Wilbur pressed a kiss to the brit's forehead, he ignored the tears. He brushed his thumb against Tommy's check, wiping the tears away with a small teary smile. 

"There is no answer to why." 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this!
> 
> Thank you! 
> 
> Please leave kudos! That would be appreciated.   
> And remember suicide isn't an answer nor a solution.


End file.
